RELATIONSHIPS AND MALE STATUS
Most problems in relationships versus friendships is that males see a relationship from the perspective of male status, will it help or harm, and women are below them in status with other men. They often do not see the goals of women. Women can choose more easily if they want to join the male hierarchy world. It’s not so easy for men, they really have to live in both worlds to feel like they are a man and not just a domestic slave or a civic slave. Women are nurturers and look to relationships to further the opportunities for nurturing relationships with little perspective of the male’s perspective.
01 Grandma wants protection and Grandpa wants status.
02 Other men in the hierarchy are focused on status and not on the private lives of other men. They want loyalty and can not see much beyond that as they are not involved in the lives of their followers unless men ask them to be. When they give advice they may give advice to just leave the female.
03 When confronted with an all or nothing choice men are in a quandary as what to do because women and their friends know little about the need for men to live in two worlds, that of men and of women. Men often do not know how to live in a woman’s world but they need them.
04 When men bring their status hierarchy thinking into the home it seems abusive to women as the nurturance is not there.
05 When men try and join forces against women the women get defensive, as they can not easily compete in male status hierarchies, they may want to get rid of the threat and live alone without men. Other women may advise them too.
06 Genetically men have larger Lower Natures from testosterone so they can be warriors and protect without hesitation and fight for their status with other men. When men decide to hunt women or challenge them for status, violence can be deadly. So women do not want to stay around if men blame them for their lack of status.
07 The feminine side of men and women holds the secrets to relationships and fairness to children, women, and to other men. Mothers tend to give equal opportunities to all their children of various ages according to their needs, strengths, and weakness. They expect men will do the same, but not all men go by their fairness rules and the fight is not far away. Women fight to protect their children and themselves so they can help their family survive. It’s built into the genetics.
08 Females, animals and humans, create the basic society for the survival of relationships, children, and family. They have the built in genetic skills if they feel safe and protected. They teach their’ son’s how to be a woman’s man while the father teaches him to be a man’s man. But to go up societies hierarchies men and women and even children have to know how to be nurturing to compete with the best.
09 Businesses and agencies are created by people and will take on the attitudes and personality of those who make the defining decisions on what should be done. So a business or agency will display an Upper Nature and a Lower Nature and the various widgets that make up the main personality will be bigger or stronger.
10 The first step to a better relationship is to ask each other, and others who have a reputation for knowing more, what works, what helps to create and maintain satisfaction and happiness. In other words what works. Basically, remember the four steps of the brain are Perception of the factors to look for, the things and people and the patterns in reality, so they can know what problems need to have solutions , Emotions that allow you to feel safe and loved and valued, Beliefs that help you be fair and equitable to others so you can help them and or network, and Habits and actions that help with you and the others stay in the Upper Nature, the first four steps. If there is fear involved humans tend to drop into their Lower Natures and believe or tell lies, be selfish, blame others, and or become aggressive.
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This list is a starter to begin to think about your widgets that run the four stages of the Upper Nature (perception, emotions, beliefs, and actions) and the widgets that change those four steps for the worse in the Lower Nature so you can introspect and see where and what you need to change.
I will be writing, and illustrating if time allows, on how to tweak these steps. Your questions will help me be relevant for those who wish to participate by comments and questions. I will make this as interactive as I can if you wish me to.
08Rel Let’s set the scene for figuring out where you want to start with your journey to a good relationship.
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