Battle of the Sexes

Through out evolution and history males have competed with each other for the right to females. At the same time females are very picky and only pick what they feel would be best for strong offspring. Birds look for strong wings and elephants for strong trunks etc. But their choices have been limited by the male completion. Thus the strong have most of the offspring and evolution is advanced as new mutations, that are good for survival, will be chosen. With humans the choices can be much more complicated. And people have different opinions of what is best that is partly determined by their environments which vary a lot among individuals. So males may compete for foolish things and females having been raised abusively may choose abusive mates.

In the animal world and human world women tend to create a society that benefits women and children. Families are the back bone of evolution. Males that are no longer protecting females may create hierarchies competing not for the best fathers or husbands but for other things depending on their environments. They may compete for money, for careers, for criminal activity, for foolish behaviors. There is no limit of what to compete for.

Let’s look at some scenarios where animals have found solutions to the events in their environments for the survival of their species.

Women and most female animals create the society where they and their offspring can survive. Without that situations can easily become unhealthy for them and survival compromised by male behaviors.

Males may feel neglected or targets of attacked. Female completion for safety is as important as male competition for warrior or male status. But in the family safety of the weakest and sharing resources is paramount, in the male status strength and power come first. This can create tensions if not adhered too.

No question that love is the bond in a family and not power where the strongest survives first.

Cities has changed the landscape of human interactions. Too large to for us to know everyone and follow what is going on allows groups of people to loose empathy for everyone. Males can gather together to do more mischief then would be tolerated in small nomadic tribes. They begin to fear for themselves rather than for the entire city, state, nation, or world.

Men are not lazy, they just don’t always see their role in the family. Cities makes even the male hierarchy so complex with so many men and different circumstances that men do not know what to do. Very powerful men will rise to the top and forget most of the men beneath them.

With cities and tons of people it is too easy for men in their competitions of people and events to include competing with women. They have lost sight of their relative place and may only feel they can dominate females, as they are isolated from other males or any other hierarchies they could join. They then see women and children as the competition rather than needing their protection, or they lack hierarchies of good men to compete with to be a better man, husband, father, and son.

The Upper Nation is more rational and powerful with good memories than the Lower Nature. The Upper Nature is more like a scientist, spiritual, and a builder. The Lower Nature lies, is selfish, does not take responsibility but blames others, and is more destructive. It should only be used for dire danger, not for a healthy relationship.

Males who do not protect are more likely to be legally prosecuted by society to protecting women, children, disabled, and the elderly. These should come before status.

Women do not cause the problems, survival of the species is at the bottom of it all.

What Should Men and Women Do For Each Other

Women toward’s Men:

1. Let them talk shop. It’s their world they are describing, they are sharing.
2. Remember, they have the same feelings as women, they just don’t label them or show them as well. You can help them define them, ask if they feel a certain way and ask them to assign a number 1 to 10 for the strength of their emotions.
3. Remember they need status, it’s ok to give it to them, and remind them you don’t compete for status so they can be good.
4. Let them have all the sports they want, as long as they give fair time to family too, sports is their symbolic war where no one is hurt. Help supply the snacks, after a hard day at war, the stomach is still the route to the heart.

Men toward’s Women:

1. Let them talk shop. It’s their world and you are part of it, so listen to better understand them.
2. Active listening, listen for the emotions, encourage them to elaborate on those emotions, they are your cues as to what needs to be done.
3. Women need love and safety, you can give them that gift by being part of the family activities. Kids love it too.
4. Foreplay starts on awakening, small hugs and pecks on the cheek during the day leads to intimacy. They take time to warm up because safety is the key to their hearts. Men that are hard on women make their testosterone go up so they can fight back. And you do not want to live with another man like creature.

Why are barbecues such a success? Men get to grill up their spoils of hunting, virtual now but in the DNA. And women get to relax and enjoy not doing all the work and feeling their man provide the spoils of war, virtual but in the DNA.  Whoop it us as it is a primitive joy from evolution. But try and drop the alcohol or drugs. They spoil the pot.