Personalities As We Grow Up

Our Personality Changes with Each Stage of Life as the Brain Develops.

This is the normal personality configuration of the average normal adult. But it did not start our such.

Infants widgets are smaller, but Macho fear is biggest in Upper Nature. Macho fear activates the lower nature to put up fusses. Lower Nature widgets are a bit bigger as no controls but they are on their backs like a baby. Their only communication is crying and fussing.

Mr.Do Consciousness and Conscience is still small and sucking his/her thumb to feel better. Only in time does he/she grow bigger and stronger and get a sense of power, that is if parents are patient and loving. Trust is the most important lesson to learn, to trust caretakers and their environment. Trust and love will be the foundation needed to build their sense of self worth and sense of power to influence others in a pleasing and loving manner. 

Perceptual Ant and Bee are about the same as is Macho fear. But the other upper nature widgets have grown. Energetic Rabbit is taller and stronger. Loving Cuddles and Mr/Ms Do or Consciousness are growing together. They need to get strong together. Consciousness needs love to be able to love self, as an awareness of self is growing. Thoughtful Geru is thinking more and more. This trio, love, consciousness, and thinking need to grow up together and be a team. Fear is part of that team once it settles down. But ‘Myself’ is still very vulnerable and needs the vigilance of fear. In time love and awareness and socialization will tame fear. That is if we show our Toddlers lots of love, instruction, and enthusiasm. 

Our toddler is still sucking his thumb. But he is standing up. And he/she is standing up for themselves more. They have learned the word NO. This is from the lower nature but is not a bad thing, it is a reaction to being asked to do more then they feel they are ready for. We don’t want to get into a confrontation over the word no, over their budding independence. If we do the Lower Nature will grow to defend itself and it’s dignity. We do not want to start the seeds of rebellion.

Every year of their childhood they will be a bit more independent. We need to let them. They will better define for us what overwhelms them. We don’t want to frustrate them. But we offer different experiences to them. They will pick and choose what they want to pursue. If we do not offer them much they may get bored or be off in their own little world. That is not all bad, but it may not be as well directed to becoming a social being as we may wish. That is a judgement call. We want them to be themselves. But we want them to also be part of our world. How much those two worlds overlap depends a lot on their innate talents and interests.

Kids are genetically programmed to understand our world. Their language and conceptual world grows much to fast to be totally dependent on what we teach them. They are programmed to learn what we have to teach. You can say we are genetically programed to teach. We are matched, especially if they are our own genetic children. But it’s not a perfect match and there is a lot of room for innovation.  

Studies show small animals and children that have been locked into attics or otherwise isolated have not learned much to function in our world. Severe isolation has shown retardation. That does not necessarily mean nurture, or teaching, is greater then genetics or nature. It does show that without both the animal and human brains do not function as well, call it depression or stages of dying.

Childhood is a time of celebration, not just birthdays and holidays but everyday. It is a time of exploration, exuberance, and activity. Reality and non reality are near the same. They do not mean to be selfish, deceptive, fabricate, or be aggressive. To them its just self expression. 

Perception, fear, and love are about the same as before. But their self concept and consciousness has expanded and they are dancing to the beat of their own drum. They will listen, they will believe you. This is the golden age of socializing.

You want to tap into their dance of life and give it the moves needed to dance with society. Empathy is an advanced emotion and is still yet to develop. It slowly grows and reaches maturity at around 25 or 26 and continues to grow and expand as our experiences and travels increase. 

This is a time for parents to remember how to dance and gain enough good feelings about this little guy or gal to help them through the next stage. Infancy to childhood is all about perception, looking around and remembering what is seen. Memory is still phenomenal, little sponges. Someday it will make sense to them, right now it about gathering experiences. 

Adolescence will gain some insight but not a whole lot. The time of insight is yet to come. The next stage after perception is emotions, and that is what develops next, not profound thinking. That will be later. Right now you want dance with your children and have a ball, play boardgames, and throw the baseball and go to dance lessons. Have fun with them and you will convey lots of information. The brain is designed to learn by play, to try it all out before the consequences are realistic and dire.

Adolescence, the time of Drama Kings and Queens. That big heart is not necessarily empathy, except for the love object mixed with tons of lust, and that love object s not you. This is natures age of pairing up to reproduce. And its for life. Problem is we no longer live in simple tribes of a few hundred with few love objects with adults and tribal culture guiding kids to the right love object. We live in a heartless, unguided, cement jungle of wild sex addicted adults that can prey on your children. And the kids have no clue. The thinking and processing part of the brain is not well developed yet. 

If you are lucky they will fall for someone their own age and the proper gender. They need more then luck. They need loving and nurturing parents that have imparted them with trust and guidance before teen hood. But to be even more lucky they will not fall head over heals over anyone but recognize puppy love and choose not to play with fire but to put it off for another time. To do that they need parents and grandparents who will spend time with them and guide them to their studies and dream about a career that will develop this society rather then creating their own tribe. If they love their family they are less likely to try and start their own. 

Fear is all about not fitting in. You got to fit in to get a mate or they will feel like you are not a good fit. But oh the dramatic jealousy, from deception, greed, fantasy, and aggression all centered around the love instinct, love of love object not of society, not yours and not other kids. Its time to break off and create your on colony.

Balance, old fashioned moderation, not too much and not too little. The factor I am adding is the four stages of the brain. You want moderation in all and not just one or two. And that will vary according to who you are, what your gifts and talents are. Another factor I want to add is not to get addicted, because addiction is a pattern of too much and then withdrawal because too much can not be sustained without burnout. 

We want stimulation, to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch. But lets not over do it to the point of feeling neglected of emotions, thoughts, and actions. We want emotions, fear and love, but not empty of thought. Intellectual is great, but not without novelty, emotional richness, and activity. And hiking is great but trekking across the world without stopping is out of the picture. We want to flavor the moment but please, not until my butt is glued to the chair. 

We want moments of over indulgence, and moments of neglect, but not till we loose all sense of the world and forget we have family. Ok, Ok, some people want to be monks, priests, or just meditators. But they too have a sense of variety and avoid the depression that can set in from addictive highs that are followed by sick lows. 

Monks don’t sit around and drink, shoot up, and then sober up with deep depression. But many of us are. And the sick part of it all is we don’t even know where the drugs are coming from, or that we are on them. We wonder why our children live for highs not realizing we have been feeding them drugs in their food. We consume tons of stimulants. We find it hard to concentrate, to sleep, to find soothing meaning in life. Half the time we are high and half the time we are in withdrawal. 

And its not just food. Our digital devices swipe us away on digital highs, we loose track of time, neglect our relationships. What relationships? We don’t know our neighbors, kids, or spouses. We text our aunts, grandmas, grandpas, and uncles. But when is the last time we laughed and hugged them. We ignore our sense of touch way too much.

We forget we have a body. And that body demands to be oriented to the surroundings and situations we are in. Often the only situations we are aware of are on a digital device, TV shows, apps, boring  computer programs. Then we wonder why life has lost its zest outside of such devices. We complain that the TV is shallow, that games need to replaces with another, and time has escaped us. 

Time is measured in enjoyment, in lasting memories, in rich experiences that the body can replay and enjoy over and over. Time is felt in exploring our thought, OUR thoughts and emotions. Time is measured in our accomplishments and growth. Digital worlds fail to do that. Digital devices are tools not life. If we lived around and for our hammers and saws we would be bored and depressed. We are bored and depressed and only happy for the moments of digital entertainment. But its shallow, it all blurs together. Where did the time go, where did the times go. Where did the friends and relatives go. Where did happiness go.

Yes, some super nurds are peachy happy submerged in a digital world. But I am not a nurd and I don’t get satisfaction from centering my life around a nurd or their world. Some people are monks and loving it. Not me. Wonder why they don’t marry? Who would put up with their life style and raise the kids without sorrow? True nurds are like monks. They are the exception not the rule. And not everybody can be a monk and still raise kids and build cities. God bless them all but its not me.

Who are we? We are basically hunters, gatherers, and primitive tribes people dumped in the cement jungles of urban cities, isolated in dark little wood or rock boxes, trying to get balance from lights coming not from the sun but from little metal or plastic boxes and experiencing the ebb and flow of not nature but from highs and lows of drugged food. We would never want to be our pets, the birds are caged, the cats and dogs neutered and eating nuggets, they are trapped. We are trapped. While we are at work they are bored, while we are at work we are bored and return to our pets and try and get them to be our friends, relatives, and neighbors we no longer have, to be our tribe. And we sulk in our little light boxes and wonder why people go to war, why Hollywood gossip sells, and why advertisements abound. I love THUNDER STORMS. They remind me there is more to it all, that there is space out there filled with movement, actions, novelty.

HOW TO BE BALANCED

Look at your personality widgets. What are your interests and talents? Which widgets require more of your time. But don’t neglect the others. They are there too. Not too little, not too much of perceptions, fear and love, beliefs and science, and patience and activity. We need to explore, fear for others and love others, understand ourselves and others, and play together. Your body will tell you, you will feel the urge to stop and start. We need to explore, feel drama, deep thoughts, and dance. That is the Upper Nature.

The Lower Nature, well, you need some deception, greed, fantasy, and risk in your life too. Problem is we get way too much, but its in digital form. And too much means boredom. We need to joke, laugh, bullshit, and tease each other. Then the Upper Nature is being exercised also. We want it all, and we can have it all if it is not vicious or neglectful. We deserve it all. We need it all. We are tribesman and can not do it by ourselves peering into the crystal balls of the digital age. Balance, of widgets, of Upper and Lower Natures, of ourselves and others and of situations that administers to all of the above. 

Lets look at this a  little closer. Stop and smell the roses, take in the view, chew your food, listen to the birds, and hug your kid. Look ahead and fear for yourself and others, love the heck out of them, meditate over your day putting things into perspective, huff and puff over a favorite activity. Tease and joke with your friends and colleagues, not too much, don’t make them suffer, get yourself an occasional treasure, fantasize about a better future, and risk starting a business or new hobby.